whatever...

i do give up on this picture thing. this post goes out to my little tar tar. thanks for bringing me back down to earth! i do feel a bit better, and would love to think that i'm just a big paranoid ball of hair, and i hope i am. you did always have a way of making me feel better! i can remember being in middle school (and me in middle school was a short, chubby, big hair, big butt, pimple faced girl) and tar tar telling me that "it will be alright. that one day i'll grow up to be a beautiful swan and everyone will be jelous of me." i don't know if she actually said that to me or not, but it sounds like something she would say. and, "it gives you character" i'll never forget that! everything that has ever happened in my life, that wasn't "normal" tar tar would always make me feel better by saying that it'll give me character. i do honestly believe that those things did give me character, but only because tar tar enstilled it in my mind that it would. just like my dad has always told me that "you can do anything if you put your mind to it" and i firmly beilieve that also! mind over matter. turn the negative into a positive. its scary when you have a bunch of good things happen to you, and you don't know how to handle it. i think maybe i'm just looking for something bad to happen...subconciously...maybe. i will take your advice tar tar and have the sit down heart - to - heart, non wild turkey babble, talk. right now in my life, (besides these past few days) have been the happiest times for me. i have my husband, and my daughter. i have my doggies, and i have my freinds, the best i have ever had! tar tar and i were close when we were growing up, but we did grow apart even though we remained friends. i think the 5 year gap we experienced brought us closer and enabled us to have the kind of friendship that we now share. plus i got your sister this time!!! shanny, my added bonus!! (just kidding, you're more than that to me shan shan!!!) its funny how things work out. looking back on it now, i don't think i would be where i am today if i hadn't f***ed up along the way! the biggest mistakes that i made turned out to be the best things for me. too bad it doesn't work out that way all the time....like when you buy some potatoes and leave them in the back of your kitchen drawer for months and months, and it turns into a big nasty mess of maggots and slime!!!!! (that's for you tar tar) i can't wait till next june, when i can return to my true homeland!!! : ) the beach and tar tar's porch hammock! on a more purple note...if i had 3 wishes, one would be that tar tar, shanny, and i all get prego at the same time and all have happy and healthy babies together!!! this is possible because our cycles are litterally days apart! shanny should start first, then me, then tar tar. or is tar tar before me now? anyway, you get the idea. so this week coming up is cycle week-we shall see if we are all impregnated by our wonderful husbands!!! love fro